Chloroform
by NoiseTank13
Summary: Sometimes it's best to slow down and think...


  
  
  
  


**Chloroform**  
  
**_  
  
  
  
  
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_  
You are my angel....  
  
Come from way above....  
  
To bring me love....  
  
Her eyes....  
  
She's on the dark side....  
  
Neutralise....  
  
Every man in sight, every man in sight....  
  
To love you, love you, love you ...   
  
You are my angel....  
  
Come from way above....  
  
To love you, love you, love you....**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**_****Kind of lonely in these slums at night, with the bright moon shining on  
you....  
  
So still, so quiet...  
  
You often wonder why people hold sections of cities like these in such contempt. Sure, the people who live in it are less than savoury, who are apathetic, cynical, and downright antagonising.  
  
There are people who are in these slums because they had no other choice. They have my greatest respect, for they are trying with all their might to make their world a better one, like I did a few years ago...  
  
And then there are people like me who punish themselves in these slums, doing great harm and mentally wounding themselves, far beyond any sort of medical treatment.  
  
I change positions so I can view the moon through my one eye, carefully  
balancing the long poleaxe in my arm. I have no reason to have it, but tonight, I felt otherwise. It looks like a large scalpel, and, it is, in a way. Scalpel, real scalpels, that is, have such a menacing look that it frightens people, and, in a way, amuses me to have people scared of an object designed to help them.  
  
Though, I cannot blame them for fearing such things. So many sharp, jagged weapons are used for such atrocities that many things, like the dentists drill, or the saw which will save your life minus a limb. Quite sad to see the world in such a state as this.  
  
The wind picked up, and a few article of trash floated past me, and into the dark oblivion. It is quite chilly, any normal human being would be wearing something warm, lest they catch a cold. I don't think I am a normal human though... In fact, some may call me a monster.  
  
Rightfully so. I have murdered and destroyed many peoples lives, going against what I have sought to do in my lifetime. And for what? I had the opportunity to walk it off and continue on with my life, but, I didn't. Reflecting back, I don't know why I was so upset. I don't even remember her face anymore. All I remember was Death's call, the flat-line, and someone screaming... Probably me. I don't remember... Do I want to remember?  
  
  
  
_She died... why, how? I never knew she had that condition, it's... impossible.  
_  
_Dr. Baldhead, I know you are grieving that she died. It's ok, it happens to us all...  
  
But, it's absurd, I did everything correct, prognosis, analyzing, what went wrong? What did I do wrong?  
  
Dr. Baldhead... It's over. You have to learn this happens to everyone around the world... Sometimes we cannot save a life. It happens.  
  
NOT TO ME DAMNIT!  
  
  
  
_I shut my eyes. I remember all too clearly now. Dr. Sayles, my comrade... I hope you forgive me for what I did to you.  
  
  
  
_Jesus CHRIST!! What the hell happened here?!  
  
Dr. Baldhead, are you OK? What happened? What happened to Dr. Sayles?  
  
Eheeeheeee, he went to supper.  
  
... What?  
  
Not at the table ingesting food, but rather is the course. Maggots, and other such beings are being feasted upon him. Delectable of course, don't you think?  
  
  
  
_Oh, stop the memories. My hand is clutching my poleaxe so hard it's starting to hurt, my muscles turned to stone, I can't move....  
  
  
  
_Don't YOU?!  
  
He's gone mad!  
  
Someone call the cops...  
  
Nono, not being nice. Eheehee....  
  
What the- oh SWEET JESU-FURKD!  
  
RUN!  
  
Oh GOD!  
  
Not me, not me, NOT MY FAULT! EEEEEHEHEHEHE!!  
  
Oh God...  
  
_  
  
And as soon as it began, it ended. My body is relaxed, and I can continue on thinking. So many people died... Unnecessary deaths, all horrible. What snapped me out of it? Ah yes, when I was correct.  
  
I forgot who told me, but they said I was not at fault for the death of my patient. She was in fact, murdered by a third party, who gave her an illness behind my back which, by my surgery, killed her.  
  
I do not feel any animosity, no anger, nor hatred at the people who killed her. I am, rather, perturbed at this. I wish to know why she was killed, whether she deserved to die or not.  
  
Or maybe they wanted to ruin me? If so, why? All I have done is help cure people of incurable diseases, conditions and ailments. I have done no wrong to people before her death. Not even to myself.   
  
They achieved if that was what they wanted. I am an outcast, people fear me. Well, that one girl did not, Dizzy? I helped her recuperate from a nasty fall she had a few days ago. I think she doesn't know who I am. Still, it felt nice to help someone these days. It somehow makes everything bearable...  
  
If only I could go back in time, to undo the things I have started. But even as wish this, would things better or for worse? Funny thing, time.  
  
I looked at the moon, so silent, lacking any kind of judgement. I sometimes envy the coldness of the moon. I wish I didn't feel like scum. While I am wishing, I might as well wish I could see my parents again... They would be seventy years old had they not died of a new strain of Alzheimers thats makes the person forget how to breathe.  
  
I guess I became a doctor because of that. I didn't want to see people suffer what I did. I guess when she died, it was my parents all over again, me powerless, and me overwhelmed... And then my rampage, which made me into a hypocrite in every shape and form.  
  
Can I redeem myself? Will people accept me again? How will the world turn out after I die? Where is that one lively girl with the large hypodermic needle? I haven't seen her in a while.  
  
I stared out in the moonlit air.  
  
I have questions. Questions that need answering. I hate not knowing where to go, how to do things. I hate being stupid, I hate not knowing.  
  
I must find out. I must find out why she died, then I will die trying to help people from suffering the same fate...  
  
I am not ashamed of who I am, for now I feel most like myself. The murderer Baldhead is gone, he was a demon. I am ashamed of him, not of Dr. Baldhead.   
  
  
I...  
  
I just wish this whole world never had the need for doctors...  
  
Because then... no one would be hurt....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_Thanks to the reviewer who notified me of Faust's real name before going as the doctor formerly known as Baldhead *Is shot*.  
  
Guess I'll pay attention more to backstory._


End file.
